Humanist Wedding in Winnipeg?

[Feminist Wife?]

Hi folks,

I've been frantically searching, and the information on planing a humanist wedding here in Winnipeg and it isn't as easy to find as I'd hope, so please, please help if you can!

Here's the deal:

I grew up in an abusive situation.  A big part of my coming to terms with this, and my healing from it, has come from my loving relationship with my partner and his family.  After seeking the guidance of a psychiatrist I came to accept that the only way to remove myself from the cycle of abuse my parents were inflicting was to end my relationship with them.  So here I am, a feminist who doesn’t really want her surname anymore, and who loves and wants to claim her partner’s family as her own.

I'm a capitol-F style Feminist and Secular Humanist.  My partner is an Atheist. His immediate family and the majority of our friends and his extended family are Atheist, Humanist or otherwise tolerant to our beliefs.  A small faction of his extended family (some of whom we wish to include) are Christian, and are fairly ignorant when it comes to attempting to push their beliefs on us). 

We desperately want find someone to conduct the ceremony, who will not only be tolerant to our beliefs, but who will also lend a sense of joy and value to such and important turning point in our lives.

The Manitoba Humanist Society site seems to indicate that there is no longer a Humanist wedding commissioner in the province.  I’ve emailed them with the same inquiry, but I’m also putting it to you folks: can anyone recommend someone who can perform the ceremony who will be tolerant or even better celebratory of our union?

[brian]

It sounds like you've already been to the HAM website.  The only other people I can think of off the top of my head who might be able to help would be the Unitarians (http://uuwinnipeg.mb.ca/weddings.shtml).

Hope this helps!

[trevor]

First, let me just say congratulations to you and your partner! I'm a bit surprised and upset that it's been difficult to find a Humanist wedding commissioner in Manitoba. This is something that we should really look into in the future.

Unfortunately, past the Unitarian link that Brian posted, I don't know of anything or anyone in Canada that can help.

One of the issues is that Canada requires religious non-profit organizations to include worship a deity. At least, that is according to Spiritual Humanists ( http://www.spiritualhumanism.org/ ). It would be very nice, however, if it were recognized in Canada, as anyone can become an ordained Spiritual Humanist minister for free. Who better to perform the ceremony than someone that you already know and trust? I'm not sure what is involved in getting weddings performed in the US recognized in Canada, but if having the ceremony down in North Dakota is an option, then anyone you want could perform the ceremony.

Edit: Check out http://www.spiritualhumanism.org/directory.htm and go to the Canada section. There are some people that note that they can perform weddings there, though none are from Winnipeg. However, you can try emailing them to see if they know of anyone in Winnipeg who could perform the ceremony, or if they're willing to travel (while keeping costs reasonable of course...)

[brian]

I don't know if you've checked our forum since then, but I am curious if you ever got your problems solved and how?

[Feminist Wife?]

Hi Brian,

We're actually still trying to figure it out.  HAM did recommend one of their members, who is a marriage commissioner but not an "official" HAM commissioner.  Unfortunately he is away for the date we've set (can't be changed due to many other factors).  There is a long list of commissioners in the province, and I'm working on finding a few that my fiancé and I will meet with.  I've been searching the web and there are a one or two commissioners who seem to offer to marry people with no reference to religion on their websites, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they'll be accepting of our beliefs and ethics.  I'm thinking I'll look into which commissioners marry same sex couples, as I would hope commissioners who are okay with same sex marriage will be open to marrying atheists too.

I'll follow up once we've got if figured out.